At three twenty four, with my clothes laid out, ice, water and lunch for the journey in the fridge, I was ready as I could be for tomorrow. One more night of work, then off for that two hour ride north to court, one step closer to J. Would I drive out to see my old farm afterwards? I always want to when I am near, just drive around it on that old dirt road, dust trailing out from behind the car, my head stuck out the window as listen for the frogs and the crickets. It’s an urge I have not indulged in a long time, too much pain there.
Three twenty five, the phone rings as I make my way to the door.
.
Michelle: “Hi Chris”
Me: Oh hi Michelle, (Michelle is my attorney)
Michelle: “Hi Chris, Say we are going to have to reschedule again, the custody evaluator has not been able to locate J’s mother.
Me: Oh
The conversation moves on as my heart sinks, the shield around my heart clicks on again. Three thirty, I am off to work, driving on auto pilot with my wounds safely tucked under my shield. As I drive I tell myself to keep moving, loving, it’s the only way to preserve what matters.
When I am home again, I am tired but cannot sleep. It is Four am; I have read part of a book and watched one movie, my body is confused and out of its natural rhythm. Later, I am thankful as sleep slips in to relieve the aches.
3 comments:
Sorry to hear about the delay . . .
Hi Michele,
It has been hard but I am keeping my head up. It is always nice to come home and click on the computer and feel the love of my blogger friends, thanks Michele.
My heart is heavy for you, and I hope this process starts to move more quickly. In the meantime, I'm looking forward to meeting you next weekend! Take care, Chris.
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